Surf's up, dude.

Stress, fear and anxiety can cause damage to your mental and physical health. PTSD, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder is a serious illness that can be treated by a medical professional. If you think you may show signs in yourself, one of your family members or a friend, please speak to your doctor about your feelings and symptoms. Click here, for an overview of PTSD.


How can you not get anxiety when thinking of one of your children having an appointment for a set of scans to see what is going on inside their body; every three months. I mean, it's just cancer, right?

We refer to this post treatment stress disorder as Scanxiety.  The physical and emotional effects manifest from variables and factors and combination's of those two(or more), that vary from day to day. There are factors such as types of scans previously performed or the upcoming, where your child is in treatment, how many months OT(off treatment) they have under their belt, recent recurrences of other children you follow...scanxiety.

Gwyn is nearing her one year OT anniversary. This Thanksgiving marks the last time she has had an MRI or a CT scan. Oh, this freaks me to no end. Let me break it down for you. Details of a MRI allow the good docs to determine the presence of diseases that may not be found with other imaging methods such as x-ray, ultrasound or a CT. The CT is detailed cross images of internal organs, bones, soft tissue and blood vessels. CT scans are used to monitor response to chemotherapy. Ultrasounds show a clear picture of soft tissues that do not show up well on x-ray images. Gwyn has had an ultrasound and a chest x-ray, along with the typical blood work and urine sampling at clinic every three months for the past year.

Scanxiety Cove. Sets of emotional waves. When the waves swell, you gotta drop in and carve it. Own it.

This is what I personally know of scanxiety. The first OT scan was a no brainer; last chemo for Gwyn was only a few weeks prior, so no stress while waiting for the results. The 2nd OT scans were the first set of real "they were right, there is comfort in chemo" scans we went through. 3rd set, I remember feeling "hey, it was easier this time". But, I swear, the week after Gwyn received the NED results, I had one of the worst feelings. I thought that too much time had elapsed since the last MRI & CT to feel safe. It was such a sucky feeling. Like I wasted a perfectly good scan appointment on the wrong ones. I was robbed. I wanted a do-over. Scanxiety.

What I see for the common denominator in recurrence diagnoses is the type of scan. You know, a MRI and/or a CT. Those guys perform to find the new growth from the devil disease like it is their job. Those are the scans that steal the commemorative plans of families and shed a new light on the "highly curable" pediatric cancer statistics. Those scans are typically performed annually, unless radiation has been part of treatment and then it's semiannually. Sca-sca-scannnnxiety.

The first week of December, Gwyn will have that first annual MRI & CT. The first one in a year. My Scanxiety Tsunami is coming.